Off Topic…

December 24th, 2009 | Uncategorized

Forgive the apparent (bearing in mind that Santa always delivers) irrelevance to the underlying premise of this BLOG, but, I am constantly astounded at the degree of  misrepresentation or outright lying that typifies many of the entities that dominate the world-wide Economy. Case in point here on Christmas Eve: UPS and FedEx.  A Christmas package was “delivered” – after a fashion – near our home in rural Virgnia today by UPS: it was left in a snow bank under our mailbox, unprotected, .80 miles from our door, along with 4 packages for a neighbor. When, incredulous, we called to complain, the UPS representative suggested that we were lucky the package had been delivered for Christmas; he did concede that it was UPS “policy” to wrap packages in plastic and perhaps the driver had experienced a plastic shortage. Indeed, if we were lucky, it is that we had the presence of mind to follow the tracking number on the UPS website and see that it had been “delivered.” Since we did not have the package, we rather wisely decided to go to the mailbox and see if some lazy driver had decided to save him or herself some time and effort and dump it, so to speak. Lo and Behold, we guessed correctly! We brought the packages to our neighbor too, less they awake Christmas Morning without their gifts and eventually find them ruined from the expected rain storm tomorrow.

It is hard to believe that Fed Ex could top this, but in the Nobel Prize Competition for Misrepresentation and Fraud, they are the runaway winners here at the close of 2009. Tracking a package for the last 96  hours (that’s 4 days), every day it has been shown as “out for delivery” somewhere between 7:10 AM and 7:16 AM. As you might gather, it never showed up. Until yesterday, we were told by the customer disservice reps at FedEx that “the road was impassable.” Hmmmm. I explained to them that I had passed that road on Tuesday myself and gone to the FedEx office in Charlottesville to send a package – last time, indeed, I will do that – so I could not understand what the issue was. In fact, as I further related, I had passed the FedEx delivery vehicle whilst returning from C’Ville that Tuesday approximately .25 (that’s 1/4) miles from my driveway! I gather the disservice reps were thorough in recording conversation notes in the tracking number record, because today, after being assured the package would be delivered by 4:30 PM, we were told it was “delivery volume” that had caused the delay.

Having called the Customer Disservice lines at 4:45 and 3 times between 6:30 PM and 6:50 PM, I am convinced that FedEx has an Institutional Policy of misrepresentation. The first rep I spoke to  between 6:30 PM and 6:50 PM immediately connected me to the C’Ville Fed Ex “station” – where they promptly hung up on me!  Another disservice rep relayed a long list of cue card platitudes and excuses. On the third and final attempt, a Supervisor – who appeared to understand her role – attempted to contact the C’Ville Station buffoons and they would not even pick-up her call! She did say I could drive into C’Ville myself tomorrow as FedEx was making an extra effort to permit customers to get the packages they had paid to have delivered to their homes – by picking them up themselves! Faith and Begorrah as my mom would say! FedEx is willing to let me pay them to do the work myself. As PT Barnum would say, “A Sucker is born every minute.”

To the employees of UPS and FedEx here in rural Virginia, I wish ye coal in your stockings, soggy matches, and a cold Christmas morning that would make Scrooge himself cry out for mercy.

Merry Christmas to all, except UPS and FedEx, and to all a Good Night.

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